Living at Lake Chapala in Mexico

Every year we watch with amazement (and some small amount of yearning) as our Mexican neighbors pause to give homage to mothers on May 10. From flower sellers who line the plaza to the various musical groups and village brass bands that serenade moms from midnight until dawn to the packed restaurants at comida time it seems like everyone and everything is focused on Mother's Day.

Now, barely a month later, what's in store for Mexico's macho dads on Father's Day? Not much. No flowers, no bands, no school programs, no comida in restaurants. Oh, there are some greeting cards, small gifts and a special dinner at home. Compared to the day honoring Mom, Father's Day is a sleeper in Mexico, just like it was back North of the Border.

Last year local writer Teresa Kendrick helped a stranger come to terms with her father's death. Her story became the basis for this salute to the foreign fathers who lie in area cemeteries, far from families and friends. Teresa searched several days for information in response to the plaintive emailed plea she received from a U.S. woman, "Please help me find the burial site of my father."

When Teresa came to the realization that local officials don't have readily available maps of the cemeteries or logs of those buried there, she wasn't sure she would be able to help the woman find her dad. Eventually Teresa found the person with the answers, Florence Michaloski.

Just a few years ago, members of the local Daughters of the American Revolution chapter took on the daunting task of mapping area cemeteries to find and identify the graves of foreigners, and especially the graves of U.S. veterans. That DAR list now includes 101 U.S. and Mexican veteran's graves as well as the resting spots of many other foreigners. From the list, Teresa was able to find the grave for which she was searching, giving the U.S. daughter peace and closure.

When I talked to Florence about the DAR mapping project, she shared with me a poem she had discovered while combing the Chapala cemetary. The words are painted into hand-made tiles, and the words are a headstone tribute to a grandfather who was buried in 1982.

If someone asks me this day
What my grandpa means to me
I wouldn't hesitate to say
You're the best one that there could be

When I was small you took the
Time to show me nature's way
We went on walks through firs and pines
On bright and sunny days
I learned the names of mountains
Flowers and birds that flew through the air
The flowers grew because of showers
And I grew because you were there

I want to tell you that I care
To say a grateful thanks
For all the times we have shared
And to say I love you gramps

Would that all Fathers be remembered with as much love.
Happy Father's Day with love and memories to all of our Fathers and Grandfathers.

Labels: cemetaries, fathers, veterans

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Judy King is publisher of  Mexico Insights' Living at Lake Chapala, a monthly online magazine for people interested in Mexico's Lake Chapala region, in the state of Jalisco.

Judy, a 16-year resident of Ajijic on Lake Chapala's north shore, conducts weekly newcomer's seminars, shares her expertise about Mexico in her monthly online magazine, and in the "Mexico Lindo" column for the Lake Chapala Review.

Judy also is a speaker for local organizations and visiting tour groups about the Lakeside area and Mexican customs and holidays.