The first dating experience for many Mexico teens is the paseo – that’s the traditional Sunday evening pastime when young people stroll in concentric circles around the plaza.
Under the watchful eyes of extended family members, boys walk in one direction, and girls the other. When a young man sees a girl he likes, he drops away from his friends to walk with her (and often her gaggle of giggling girlfriends).
From Paseo to Golden Anniversary and more…
I met Guadalupe, a Mexican tour guide, 20 years ago on my first trip to Mexico. He explained to our group of tourists how he had met his wife in a 1937 paseo in his village. When he saw her walking with her sisters, he bought a flower. On the next round when he passed it to her, then his anxiety began.
Tradition at that time decreed that if she kept the flower, the next time they met he could switch directions and walk with her. If she returned the flower to him, he would be rejected in full view of most of his relatives and other residents of the village. With shaking knees and sweating hands he circled the plaza and was delighted to see her smile – a smile that he said still warmed his heart more than 50 years later.
Walking
I like knowing the origin of terms – in Spanish as well as English. I was puzzled when I heard folks using the verb andar (to walk) as we would say to date.
Su Domingo
Domingo (Sunday) is the big day to be out, doing, walking, going to the movie, having a snack on the plaza after evening Mass, or just having fun. With Friday evening or Saturday pay days, Sunday is also a big shopping day – the day to buy the basic and staples for the week. There’s another interesting use of a Spanish word that accompanies these Sunday traditions. Su Domingo (literally your Sunday) translates to mean “your allowance.”
Dating customs
Fathers exercise far greater control over their families (especially daughters) than residents and visitors might guess from their first view of the young girls’ choice of outfits, jewelry, and makeup. Many girls are still not allowed to date until their 15th birthday and their quinceañera (coming out party).
Even then fathers want to meet and approve of young suitors and set strict curfews, even for daughters still living at home in their 20s. Girls are expected to see their novios (boyfriends) at home and to spend a great deal of their dating time in the family living room surrounded by aunts and uncles, siblings, grandparents, and a blaring TV set.
Eventually parents permit a little private time on the stoop – but with other family members just inside. We spot couples who have eased off the stoop and down the street a bit be shielded by a dark doorway or a drooping tree for a few caresses and kisses.
Mexico, the Land of Contrasts
In nearly every facet of life here in Mexico, there are contradictions to the typical traditions and contrasts in the way life works compared to the way folks want it to be. Teenagers are pretty much the same everywhere; girls here sneak out or slip off from the family just as they do up north, in direct opposition to the rules and desires of their parents.
And…the outcome can be just as disappointing and difficult – teen pregnancy. there seem to be just two solutions – a teenage marriage, or the family stepping up to support the girl and her child.
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